My last post I started talking about habits and rituals, and I have been thinking about them ever since. I talked of the runner I see at the same time each day, in the same place, and what that tells me about her. The small thing is that she gets up and goes out each day. The big thing is that she is mastering this bit of self-care… taking care of her body, taking time where she is away from the noise of life, perhaps giving herself the energy needed to start each day. These are the POWERFUL results of her daily ritual. Even the simplest of habits (or rituals or routines — whatever you want to call them) have power.
My thinking about this led me to do an informal survey of my friends and family about their habits and routines. The answers were fascinating and taught me things about my closest people that I didn’t know. This got me wondering if they recognize the effect their rituals have in their lives. There is so much POWER in habit. Here are some of the habits/routines that were shared with me, and my analysis of their power.
HABIT
“I call my mom once a day on my way to work because it’s about a 15-minute drive.”
POWER
Connection & Boundaries. This friend lives across the country from her mother who is experiencing early stages of dementia. By calling every day, she is letting her mother know she loves her, keeping an eye on her, and supporting her mom’s memory. By doing it in a fixed period of time - the 15-minute drive, she is giving herself a self-care boundary. Those kinds of conversations can be emotionally challenging, and caregivers need to care for themselves as well.
HABIT
“I only do my laundry once a week on Fridays. Then over the weekend, (she and hubby) find a few hours to watch a show and I will fold and iron while we do that.”
POWER
Freedom from worrying about laundry all week. Quality time with spouse.
HABIT
“After I get my son off to school in the morning, I grab a cup of coffee and sit down to pray.”
POWER
Daily prayer nourishes her spiritual connection and starts her day in a peaceful meditative way.
HABIT
Wash then moisturize! Always. In the morning and before bed. For decades.
POWER
A lifetime of healthy skin.
HABIT
Make bed immediately after getting out of it.
POWER
This is something we’ve all been told all of our lives by mothers and grandmothers. So what’s its power other than you’ve got a tidy bed? A made bed is a reset and a transition; a signal to your brain the day has begun. Plus, your day starts off with a successful task completed and ends with a pleasant place to land.
HABIT
Sunday morning bill-paying and weekly planning
POWER
Frees up the rest of the week from dealing with any of the life demanding crud that comes your way daily and puts it all on Sunday. Face the week with most of your to-dos done and a master plan for the week. Watch your brain space and time open up for bigger thinking and less stressful weekdays. (I hope to talk more on this for you soon — webinar anyone?)
HABIT
Stop by CVS after son’s basketball practice, he gets a delicious beverage.
POWER
Extra quality time with a kid growing up too fast. Simple memories of time with you he will fondly remember.
Are you feeling me here?
The power is in the routine People! I hope you see a little bit here that the smallness of the thing isn’t important. It’s the consistency. And when something is so consistent it becomes effortless — but the results can be significant.
Take pride in the rituals you’ve created and protect them. And for anything new you want to bring into your life - how can you add it to your effortless habits…?
If you need more ideas - here are many of the other habits/rituals my friends and family shared with me.
MORE HABITS!
Duolingo lessons while dinner is cooking
1-hour of a movie/TV show with son nightly
See trainer 2x a week
Taking a class in something once a week, even if it’s a subject I actually teach
When I get a pedicure, I write in my journal
Take one walk a week with my friend who lives around the corner. She likes hills
Read Carolyn Hax every single morning on my iPad before I get out of bed
Read each morning in bed, then text my mom a picture or gif of a hug (By the way, this is an example of ‘habit stacking’ — layer a new one on an old one)
Turn on the dishwasher every night and empty it first thing.
I do not go to bed at night until the kitchen is clean and all dishes, pots and pans are put away (ready for a new day😊) I call my elderly parents at the same time every day (for us, right after the dinner dishes are cleaned up works for me. (Habit stacking again…)
I water my plants every Sunday
Pray every night before I go to sleep
Make my dinner and grocery list on Thursday night
Grocery shopping Friday night, 6pm.
Tell my kids every night when I tuck them in “See you in the morning, please God”
Do squats while I dry my hair
Because I leave for work so early I leave the family a note every day on a little white board
Lotion in the morning, heavy cream at night
Shower every night before bed, never in the morning
80% of respondents included a ritual related to coffee. Okay, I didn’t really do that math but here they are:
Drink coffee in bed
Set the coffee pot as part of evening kitchen cleaning
Set up the coffee maker when I’m making dinner
Putting collagen in my 1st cup of coffee every morning.
Grab a cup of coffee and pray
**If you aren’t setting your coffee pot the night before you go to bed, I highly recommend it. Definitely powerful to have hot coffee waiting for you when you get up.
Share your habits in the comments… I’m obsessed!
