Once when I lived in Manhattan, I hopped in a cab with little more than an hour to get to a flight at LaGuardia airport. If you’ve ever traveled to a New York airport from anywhere, you know that this is an absurd thing to attempt. Mind you, it was pre-911, so the chances were better, but still it was not likely that I would make the flight. As I closed the cab door, I said to the driver “I’ve got to be to LaGuardia to catch a 2pm flight – that’s probably wishful thinking.” Without skipping a beat, the man said to me in a gorgeous Eastern European accent: “Beautiful women often have their wishes come true, so they’re prone to wishful thinking”. After being fully caught off-guard by the compliment and awed by his skill with words, I was then moved by the wisdom of what he said.
I’ve always had difficulty with punctuality. I plan to leave at a certain time, but somewhere in my subconscious I feel I can probably squeeze out a few more minutes to do x, y, or z. It has worked for me many many times in my life and it’s that reality that probably keeps me cutting it way too close. I nearly missed the start of one of my best friends' weddings because I neglected to build in the time required to find parking. My poor husband was the one who had to park and sneak in five minutes late. It’s one of the one times I’ve felt him truly angry at me, and I deserved it.
Being late makes you stressed. It gives people a poor opinion of you. Most significantly, it disrespects other people’s time. We disappoint ourselves because we intended to be there, feel different, take a moment to settle, but we didn’t. Being late is bad.
The reason many of us have a punctuality problem is also why some of us can’t seem to get done what we set out to do, even when we make a plan. It’s because we are Time Optimists. A time optimist thinks something can be done in far less time then it actually can be done. For example: “I’m going to spend all day Saturday cleaning out my garage once and for all.” This is almost always a recipe for failure. I’m a professional organizer and on average, it takes me and one or even two additional organizers anywhere from twelve to twenty hours to clean out your garage once and for all. Another example – saying to yourself “It takes 20 minutes to get to my next appointment, I’ll leave at 20-til.” But it takes 5 minutes to get in the car and 10 minutes to park, not to mention the dreaded risk of getting lost or stuck in a traffic jam. This optimistic view of how much time something takes is always a detriment.
But there’s such a thing as time pessimism too. We don’t start things because we don’t think we have enough time to do them. I once timed how long it took me to unload the dishwasher. Four minutes. That’s how long it takes to listen to Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go. I don’t know about you, but most of the time, four minutes seems like nothing. (I once got my kid to do it for me by seeing if he could beat my time. #momforthewin). Procrastination is often a problem when we overestimate how long something will take. Suddenly it’s like “why the heck did I wait so long to do that…?”
It pays to study how long things take. It took me 20 minutes to write the paragraphs above. Take some time to see where you are a time optimist or pessimist. What’s something you can’t seem to get finished – have you underestimated the time needed? Pad your travel times on both sides. At the same time look at something you’ve been avoiding doing – set a short timer and just start and see how much you actually get done. It might surprise you.
We are all beautiful and prone to wishful thinking. Won’t get us to the airport on time.
What I'm Consuming...
Just started minimalist Joshua Becker's latest book, Things That Matter: Overcoming Distraction to Pursue a More Meaningful Life . Like his Becoming Minimalist blog and his previous books on creating a comfortable minimalist home - he does a deep dive into what you really gain by casting the unnecessary aside and getting at the heart of what's important to you. Still reading, but I'm sure it'll be a keeper for me.
Here are some more 4-minute songs you can use to empty the dishwasher, or start the laundry, or sort the mail, or outline the great American novel by: