One of my goals this year was to get my newsletter out every month without fail, and I’m proud to say I’ve been pretty successful. Well, until November. Some of you who know me well know why I missed November. In late October, I lost my dad to Covid, and what followed was a sad, epic, whirlwind of events. Predictably, my November newsletter/blog was going to be about gratitude. And this November/December combo will still be about that. Because though my heart is broken to be sure, gratitude is what got me through those very difficult first days and weeks.
My dad was 84 years old. He had lived an exceptional life and could honestly say that he did his best for his family and in fact, the world, every step of the way. He is gone and I will miss him the rest of my days, but I have so much to be grateful for in the way he passed. He was only sick for a short time and did not suffer. Slow moving illnesses in his body did not get the chance to steal his wit, wisdom or independence- something he would have hated very much. We all will lose our parents. I hope you all can be so lucky to have them go out with dignity like my daddy did.
Staying conscious of what I was grateful for kept me going for the past few months. My amazing siblings. The friends, family, colleagues, and clients who called, texted, emailed, Facebook messengered, Linked-in’d me. The ones who sent flowers and sent bagels from New York. The ones who sent me an emotional support chicken. The extra cuddles my dog seemed to know I needed. For my spouse who effortlessly becomes both mom and dad in an instant. For the faculty at my children’s school who looked after them while they dealt with something very unexpected and raw. For the vaccines that protected the rest of my family, and the mono-clonal antibodies that healed my mother.
You hear a lot about ‘practicing gratitude’, along with mindfulness, yoga, deep breathing, journaling, yadda yadda yadda. It is one of the ‘self-care’ mantras of the wellness industrial complex. Things we sometimes foolishly guilt ourselves about NOT doing because we know they are good for us. I made myself do ALL these things while my dad was in the hospital and my mom was recovering from Covid, and after he passed. And they saved me. For Ted Lasso.
My holiday wish for you is that you stop feeling guilty about not doing those things, and you simply DO THEM. Go ahead, right now. Take a freakin’ long deep breath. I’ll wait. INHALE 4 counts. HOLD 4 counts. EXHALE 4 counts. HOLD 4 counts. Do it again. The more times you do it the better it feels. Now, think of something you are grateful for and say it outloud. It doesn’t have to be some big mind-blowing thing Brene Brown sh^t. I’m grateful for my morning coffee. I’m grateful my back doesn’t hurt today. I’m grateful I live close to my parents and was able to be here for them both. Breathing and gratitude are free and easy and always there to heal you. Use them.
If you’d like to know more about the benefits of gratitude check out this post from one of my favorites, Joshua Becker.
I went down a rabbit hole looking for visuals for this post. I enjoyed all the sweet and funny memes about gratitude, I decided to just share them all. Enjoy.
